Understanding Same-Sex Attraction
Same-Sex Attraction (SSA), or Homosexuality, is romantic attraction, sexual attraction or sexual activity between members of the same sex.
God deeply loves people with same-sex attraction. Sadly, many churches have ostracized gay-identified people. God doesn't see people with same-sex attraction as greater sinners than others. Every time the New Testament references homosexual practice as a sexual sin, it is within the context of other sins. He offers the same redemptive plan to all people.
He discourages any sexual sin (regardless of gender attraction) outside of His plan for sexual expression because He loves us and sin is destructive. Homosexual practice has been present throughout history. Thankfully, God's Word transcends time and culture to direct us towards life. To experience God's best with our sexuality, we must live by God's plan for sexuality, regardless of cultural acceptance or personal desires. The Bible clearly defines homosexual practice as a sexual sin throughout both Old and New Testaments. The only relationship where a sexual union is celebrated is within the confines of a monogamous heterosexual marriage between one man and one woman. All people are called to flee any sexual activity outside of this boundary.
Setting the Record Straight
There is much confusion about same-sex attraction and what the Bible teaches. Here are critical truths to understand:
God Loves Gay People
God so loves the LGBTQ community and anyone with same-sex attraction that He gave His only son to be crucified so that any may be redeemed and restored to an intimate relationship with Him (John 3:16). Christ gives new life to all who trust in Him (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).
Christians Can Struggle with SSA
Many Christians with SSA faithfully and joyfully surrender their sexuality to God's design along with other areas of life. You can be a Christian and experience same-sex attraction while choosing obedience to God (1 Corinthians 10:13, John 10:10).
Inborn Desires Don't Determine God's Design
If people are born with same-sex desires, it doesn't mean that same-sex love is God's design. Because of Adam and Eve's sin, we've all inherited a rebellious nature with sinful desires leading to death (Romans 7:14-18). Intrinsic desires don't determine whether a longing is good or bad. God's word alone defines truth.
The Bible Doesn't Affirm Same-Sex Love
Homosexual practice is designated as sin in both Old and New Testaments (Leviticus 18:22, 20:13; Romans 1:21-32, 1 Timothy 1:9-10). Jesus affirmed that God created man and woman in His image with distinct but complementary roles, and that marriage is a covenant between one man and one woman (Matthew 19:4-6).
Love Doesn't Make a Relationship Right
Just because there is love in a relationship, it doesn't mean that God approves of the relationship. Hearts can be deceptive (Jeremiah 17:9). No earthly love can fulfill our need for love. Only God's perfect love can fully satisfy our love needs (Ecclesiastes 3:11, Psalm 90:14).
Your Desires Don't Define Your Identity
We are not a sum of our attractions and desires. God created each of us for a purpose. He gives you a choice to live in His intended design for life or to go your own way. God gives those who turn to Christ a new identity as children of God—forgiven, righteous, and clean (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).
Following God's Plan Isn't Denying Your Identity
You are not denying your true identity if you follow God's plan instead of your same-sex desires. Jesus' invitation to all is to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Him (Luke 9:23-25). Following Christ often demands sacrifice in all areas of life (including sexuality), but also promises great eternal rewards.
Biblical Insights on Identity and God's Design
God Loves You and Has Your Best Interests in Mind
You matter to God. He created you for purpose and set eternity in your heart. No marriage, no earthly relationship, no fulfilled sexual desire will satisfy you. Only God's perfect and true love satisfies. His instructions lead to life.
"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."
— Psalm 16:11
Homosexual Practice Is Condemned in Scripture
Homosexual practice is condemned in both Old and New Testaments. It is always listed amongst other sins. Sexual sins are some of the first to emerge when we turn from God.
"You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination."
— Leviticus 18:22
"They exchanged the truth of God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error."
— Romans 1:25-27
Christ Redefines and Changes All Who Trust Him
Without Christ you're powerless to change, but Christ redefines and changes all who trust Him. Willpower won't overcome sin. Those who accept Christ receive a new Spirit and new identity defined by Christ's work on the cross. God may or may not remove a Christian's same-sex attraction, but the Holy Spirit will give him or her a supernatural ability to resist temptation and live joyfully in God's will.
"For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out."
— Romans 7:18
"Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God."
— 1 Corinthians 6:9-11
Self-Denial Is Counter-Cultural but Necessary
Self-denial of sexual desire is counter-cultural, but Christ says we must deny ourselves and follow Him in order to live. Culture tells us to transform our bodies and conform our minds to our sexual desires. Jesus calls us to follow Him and let God transform our hearts and minds to conform every area of life to His will.
"If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it. For what is a man profited if he gains the whole world, and loses or forfeits himself?"
— Jesus Christ, Luke 9:23-25
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
— Jesus Christ, Matthew 11:28-29
Truth Spoken in Love Is Never Hateful
It is loving, not hateful, to refrain from supporting sin and to kindly tell someone the truth about sin. God's Word may be challenging, but it is always motivated by love.
"[Love] does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth."
— 1 Corinthians 13:6
Next Steps Toward Freedom and Purpose
- God loves you and made you in His image. Ask Christ to heal you spiritually and establish a personal relationship with Him (Romans 10:13). If you do not yet have a personal relationship with Jesus, learn more about how to begin one.
- Begin renewing your mind through a 30-day challenge: Pray and read God's Word daily (start with the Gospel of John). Ask God to reveal His love for you. Meditate on and memorize Scripture (try Romans 13:14). Change your media intake (TV, radio, social media, websites, etc.) to that which honors Christ.
- Limit time in relationships that pull you away from God. Surround yourself with people who point you toward Christ, not away from Him. This may mean making difficult decisions about friendships and community.
- Attend a Bible-teaching church that loves people with same-sex attraction and doesn't fear you. You need sound teaching and healthy Christian community. Find a church that proclaims God's Word clearly while offering compassion and grace.
- Find a Christian group, like re:generation, where you are safe to be known, work through struggles, and discover who God designed you to be (Titus 3:3-7). You do not have to walk this path alone. Community support is essential.
- Begin to study God's design for sexuality and gender using biblical resources. As you understand God's beautiful design for sexuality, you'll begin to see why His boundaries are not restrictions but protections.
- Trust that God's plan for you is better than your own desires. Submit your sexuality to God and ask Him for the power to obey. Believe that following Christ brings true joy, purpose, and fulfillment—more than any earthly relationship could provide.
Your Identity in Christ
If you are struggling with same-sex attraction, know that God sees you, God loves you, and God has a purpose for your life. Your feelings and attractions are real, but they do not define you. You are defined by Christ and His work on the cross. Thousands of Christians throughout history have experienced same-sex attraction and, through faith in Christ and submission to His design for sexuality, have found deep joy, meaningful community, and fulfilled purpose. The path of obedience to God's Word regarding sexuality is not easy—culture screams a different message, and your feelings may pull you in another direction. But Jesus promises that if you deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Him, you will find life—real, abundant, eternal life. Your sexuality does not have to be your identity. You are a beloved child of God, created for purpose, destined for community, and invited into an intimate relationship with the God who made you. Take the step. Reach out to a trusted Christian. Find a Bible-teaching church. Connect with other believers who understand your struggle. And allow Jesus to redefine your identity and your future. In Him, you will find what you've been seeking all along.